Q and A: Answers Pt. 1

Thank you so much for the questions! I can't believe how many questions I received! Since I received over 20 questions, I have decided to split them into two posts! Here is Part One!

Would you consider doing it again?

Absolutely!!! My IP’s have asked if I would be willing to carry for them again. We have a great relationship, so that will be a plus if I help them with a Sibling Project! If we decide to wait a while, I will be updating my profile and hopefully get matched with another couple soon!

What if I don't have Medical Insurance or My Insurance doesn't cover Surrogacy?

I didn't have medical insurance when I applied. Once you are matched, they will have you apply to an insurance company that covers Surrogacy. I do know that Anthem Blue Cross and Kaiser cover Surrogacy!

Did your Tincture work/help? What about the capsules?

I haven’t used the Tincture yet. The longer it ferments, the better! I took my placenta capsules for about 4 weeks and now I take them during my monthly cycle. They have helped tremendously! In the beginning, they helped a lot with my bleeding and my hormone levels.

Did you notice anything different compared to your other postpartum experiences?

This postpartum was a lot easier on me! I contribute a lot of that to the fact that I didn’t have a newborn to take care of and I had a lot of help with my kids.

Has your family been supportive (during and after)?

In the beginning, a few family members weren’t on board and that was okay. During the pregnancy, a few of them started to come around and by the end of the pregnancy, they were very proud of what I was doing. I know that Surrogacy is not for everyone and that is absolutely fine with me, I just won’t talk about it while you are around. The one person that I was terrified to tell was my Gramma. She is very old school and I wasn't sure how she would react. When I was 12-14 weeks pregnant, she called me and asked me about it! She was fully supportive of what I was doing! She said that if she was guaranteed a girl, she would have paid someone a long time ago! Hahaha!

Did you experience any PPD after carrying Surro Babe for 9 months and then having to hand her over to her parents?

No. I knew going into this knowing that this child was not mine. I had the perfect mindset and am very grateful. Once I delivered, I was a little hesitant about holding her, but after I had her in my arms, I knew I would be fine! It felt like I was holding a friend’s baby and I didn’t feel any sort of emptiness. She wasn’t mine to keep, I was just giving her back to her parents!

What was the process like?

Surrogacy is a “Hurry Up and Wait” process. Once we were matched, I flew back down to L.A. and had another medical appt. After I got the go ahead, we started contracts. Those took about a month and then I was able to start my meds. First Birth Control Pills, then Lupron, Delestrogen, Progesterone in Oil and Endometrin. 3 weeks in a row, I had to have my blood drawn to check my numbers. I then flew down to L.A. for my transfer!

How did you do with the shots? I am terrified of needles, but I don’t want that holding me back from being a surrogate.

I was very nervous about the intramuscular shots. The Lupron shots were easy since they were tiny insulin needles and those went in my belly. The Intramuscular shots were a little harder. My husband is not a fan of needles, but I made him watch some you tube videos and have him watch a friend give me my first shot. He got better at it after about 3 days. The needles are very intimidating, but once you do the shots a few times, it will get better. Make sure you heat your injection site and the medicine and then rub the area after the shot. You will get knots, but rubbing the area will help disperse the medicine.

How are your kids doing?

My kids are doing great! They understood from the very beginning that the baby was not ours. I told my children that my IM’s tummy was sick and couldn’t carry a baby like mommy can. I am grateful that my IP’s loved our children and were so excited to see them and include them in everything. They love seeing pictures of Surro Babe almost daily!

What was the Psychological Process like?
My husband and I had to drive to San Francisco and do our Psych Eval there. I had to complete a 200+ multiple choice questionnaire. Some of the questions were really strange and I actually laughed at a few! After that, my husband and I were called into a room and we talked to a Psychologist about our lives and what surrogacy meant to us. At the end of the appointment, she told me that we seem like a sane family and was going to approve us!


Why did you become a surrogate?
I have always wanted to be a surrogate. I love being pregnant and pregnancy is very easy on me. I told my husband that after we were done having our own kids, I wanted to apply to be a surrogate. After weighing our pro's and con's for about a year, I applied. I feel that if my body does well during pregnancies and that I love being pregnant, why not help a family who can't have children. It is a true gift of love in my opinion!

Well, there ya have it!! Come back tomorrow for Part Two!!

Ask Anything!

So I have received a lot of questions regarding my Journey!

I would like to answer those in a blog post! So if you have any questions for me, please leave me a comment on this post or email me at Smith.Breanna3{at}Yahoo{dot}com


Surro Babe is already 2 1/2 months old and is doing fabulous! She has already doubled her birth weight and is so alert! Her parents are in love and are amazing parents!!

Prenatals = Blech!

I now remember why I dislike Prenatal Vitamins. When I was pregnant with my kids, I would get so sick to my stomach from my vitamins. I wouldn't throw up, I would just get nauseous.

Well I have been taking prenatals for a week and I am so sick to my stomach. I started taking them in the evening after dinner and I would still get an upset tummy. So I emailed my amazing nurse and she ordered me CitraNatal Harmony Vitamins.. I am ready to try these out. I am also getting my BCP's in this package, which should be here some time tomorrow. I can't believe how fast everything is moving along!

I had emailed my IP's and let them know where we were at on our side and that everything is moving smoothly and that all of the Consents should have been delivered to the clinic today and we signed and emailed back our Retainer to our Lawyers. I got an email back this morning and they let me know that IM has started her weekly blood draws and she should be starting her BCP's next week also!

I had asked them if they would like me to schedule a "Stork Tour" at the hospital. It's a tour of the hospital/L&D, Nursery and everything else. That way when it is time, they will know where to go!

So that is whats happening in my neck of the woods... Hopefully we will sign contracts within the next week!

I am Sane!

Yesterday Dave and I hauled ass drove safely to San Francisco to meet with our Psychologist and take my PAI Test! Traffic was a complete mess but thank god for the carpool lanes! I may have use the carpool lane in the bay area when it was 3+, but time was of the essence and we needed to get to our appt on time! We were supposed to be at our appt by 10:15. We pulled up to the Valet at 10:00.. Bam!

We got up to the office and let them know that we were there for a 10:30 appt. First off, some of those questions were really weird! I had to go into a little room where the receptionist put a laptop in front of me so I could take the test... Some of the questions were:

- I contemplate Suicide on a daily basis... 

Umm No!

- I don't like getting ads in the mail... 

Umm Yes! I freaking hate ads cluttering up my mail box!

- I often feel like a Loner... 

Uh Nope! I'm a social butterfly and love all of my friends! 

- My favorite Poet is Leonard Whatsoever.. 

Umm Who?!

After my testing, I went back out into the waiting room with Dave. A few minutes later we were called back to talk to our Psychiatrist. She was really nice and made us feel comfortable. Se asked both Dave and I questions about our decision to proceed with our Surrogacy Journey and some more private questions.

After all of that, she let me know that I had PASSED the PAI Test and that I am Not Crazy! hahaha

So the Psych Eval is checked off our To Do List!!!

Still To Do:

- LA for my Re-Evaluation with Dr. R
- Contracts!
- Schedule Transfer!!!!!


-

Psych Evals!

Dave and I get to drive to San Francisco for our Psych Evals on Thursday!!

Since Dave won't be able to go to LA with me next month, We are able to get our Psychs done by us! This is another big task we can check off our list! We will be taking the Personality Assessment Inventory {PAI} Test and talk with the Psychiatrist.

The PAI Test is a 300+ True/False Test that gets a comprehensive assessment of adult psychotathology. They want to make sure Dave and I are sane and can handle this big journey!

The test should only take about an hour and about 20 minutes to score! A June Transfer is looking sweeter and sweeter! Eeek!

So now we just have to wait for my cycle to start, which should be in about a week, then I head to LA a week after that for my Re-Evaluation with Dr. R!!! Then its Contract time!

Hope you all have a blessed day!

Conference Call!!

This morning I had our Conference Call with my new IP's!!

First off, let me say that they are amazing! I absolutely adore them already! They seem so genuine and can not wait to have a family! Once we all started talking, the nerves went away and everything went really well. I was so nervous before the call, I barely slept. Our call was at 6:30am pst and 9:30pm their time...

We were all on the phone together for about 30-45 minutes. {Me, My Caseworker, IF, IM & Their Translator} I asked questions, they asked questions. They want to try for a June Transfer, which would mean that I would start my meds in May. Once I get my Psych Eval done and both mine and Dave's blood work done, I believe we will be starting contracts!!

When we were talking and asking questions, I told them that I have a Surrogacy blog and that I will be updating it as things move along. I also told them that I will not display their names or put pictures of them up on here. They were pretty excited about this. They said that it will help them connect with me and the pregnancy more. This made me so happy! When I logged in to write this post, I checked the audience and there were some hits from where they are! This made my heart swell :)

We talked about multiples and if they would like to be in the room when I deliver. They were very grateful when I told them that it was up to them if they wanted to be in the room. It will be their baby/babies and they deserve to be in that room!

So for now our check list consists of this :

- Complete my Psychological Evaluation.
- Complete Mine and Dave's Blood Work.

Thank you for all of your sweet comments and prayers!!

Our New Journey!!

Sorry for the vague post on friday. There is only so much I can talk about before Conference Calls/Contracts. I am currently waiting for my caseworker to email me the day and time for the call.

So the first time we were matched, it was 11 days from the time our paperwork got to our agency to the Conference Call. This time, it was ten days! Since my bmi is under 35 but over 30, my caseworker is limited to whom she can send our profile to. It all depends on the IVF Clinic the IP’s go through. I have been busting my ass with the weight loss and can’t wait to get started!

When I first saw the email, I got super excited when I read the names. I thought to myself “OMG, I am going to be a Surrogate for Two Daddies!!” Well, when I opened the profile, I realized that the names fooled me. Haha! Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore these IP’s already! I feel a sense of calmness with them, something that I didn’t really feel with the last IP’s. They are more laid back and seem like a lot of fun! It helps that one of them speak English! Dave and I had thought a lot about if we were going to be open for International Couples or just United States. We both felt that everyone deserved to have a family and a lot of other countries don’t approve of Surrogacy and some are even illegal.

I feel more excited this time around too. I think that because I have been through the beginning stages recently, I know what to expect and can put myself out there a little more. This couple is ready to move forward, like now! So what does that mean, you ask? Well, let me tell ya! If you are new, here is how it will all work…

Conference Call – We will ask each other question’s, get a feel for each other and decide whether or not we want to go forward. We will also find out when they plan on coming out for the Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer! After we find out that date, we will find out when I should be starting my meds!

Psych Evaluation & Medical – I will have to fly back out to L.A. and do my Psych Evaluation. I am not sure if I will have to do another Medical Evaluation, since I did one on November 30^th. The only reason I might have to do another one is if it’s because I had lost all of the weight. They will also tell me what meds I will be taking and how to administer them. But I will find out more on that soon.

Contracts – Our Lawyers will write up the contract and both parties will sign. This is when it really gets official!!

Start Meds – I will be starting Birth Control Pills, Progesterone & Lupron. They will either be Injections or Suppositories.  I will have to be on these meds for about a month before the transfer and up to 12 weeks pregnant.

Embryo Transfer – I will fly down to L.A. for the transfer and stay there for a few days. I will more than likely be by myself since Dave is starting a new job and won’t be able to take the time off. So we will more than likely have to hire a babysitter. 

So now we wait....

Amazing News!!

Got an email from one of my caseworkers about a potential couple wanting to work with us!!

I looked it over and sent it to Dave..

We have agreed to work with them!!

We are matched again!!!!

More info to come...

You've got Questions, I've got Answers!

I got some great questions from people! Here they are! If you would like to ask any questions, please just shoot me an email!

Why did you want to become a Surrogate?

Since before having children of my own, I knew that I wanted to become a surrogate. Just being able to give a couple such a selfless gift is a beautiful thing. Everyone deserves to have a family.

What does your family think about this?

This is a tough one. Everyone is accepting except my Inlaws. My uncle doesn't really approve of it, but supports me. My father is okay as long as my health and mindset is okay. My friends are ecstatic and love watching this journey play out.

What has been the most stressful part?

Waiting.. I have had to lose weight and be told that my IP's were going to start looking for a new Surro. Everything happens for a reason and since I have lost majority of that weight, I am hoping that we are matched back up with our original IP's.

What has been the most rewarding part?

Being chosen. Having someone pick YOU out of a bunch of profiles just takes your breath away. They are trusting you with such a big responsibility!

Where are you at in your journey?

I recently had my weight check and I am now waiting to hear back from the IVF Dr and my Agency.

What have you learned so far?

Being Patient. Like I said earlier, Everything happens for a reason.

How did you pick your agency?

I went onto google and typed in Surrogacy Agencies in California. I clicked on 3-4 of them and applied. The 3rd agency I applied to, called me within 2-3 hours. The lady I talked to is now my caseworker and I completely love my agency!

How long did it take to become matched?

I applied Sept 24th, Agency received my paper work on Oct 23rd and was matched on Nov 11th. So a little less than 2 months from applying to matching. It went really fast!

Were you nervous about the matching process?

Not really. I was more anxious about the couples looking at our profile :)

Did you want a M/F couple, M/M couple or F/F couple?

It really didn't matter for us!

Have you talked to your kids about this?

Yes! My oldest two {5 & 4} know what is going on. My youngest, not so much since he is only two.

Do you know anyone personally who has had issues with infertility?

Yes.

Would you rather have a couple from the U.S or International?

Again, It didn't matter to us! We were open to anything!

How many times would you be a Surrogate?

Depending on how my first journey goes, I would like to be a surrogate twice.

Do you think you are mentally prepared?

I am more than prepared!! D and I have been talking about this for over a year and weighed out our pro's and con's. We are ready!

What would you tell someone who is looking at becoming a Surrogate?

Do your research. Talk with your spouse and weigh out all of the Pros/Cons. Always remind yourself to be patient..



If you would like your questions answered, just shoot me an email!

And now we wait...

Yesterday was my weight check appt.. Overall it went pretty well.. For some reason, my dr's scale is always 2-3lbs more than my scale at home..

After the appt, I copied my paper and emailed it to my case worker. My caseworker then emailed it to my IVF dr.. So I am now waiting on a response of either a Yes, we can move forward or a No, I need to lose more. I have been checking my email religiously all day.. I know that it could take a few days, but I need to know now!!

I have also decided that I will be doing vlogs about my journey and where I am at..

If you have any questions for me, I would love to add them into one of my vlogs!!

Have a great week and I will be back with some good news {hopefully!!}

I Made It!!!

I made it!!!

I finally hit that weight.. I am just waiting for my dr's appt so I can do a weight check to send to my caseworker. I can't believe its finally here.

So the plan goes as followed:

- Get weight check at drs and then send it to my caseworker.

- Caseworker sends my weight check to the IVF dr. She will check it and will let my caseworker know what to do next.

- If approved, we will either go back with our original IP's and finish where we left off OR we will have to look for new IP's. It all depends if our original IP's still want to work with us.

- I will then have to fly down to L.A. to do my Psych Eval and Medical Eval {again}. They will show me how to give myself meds and let me know which meds I will be on.

- Start Contracts and find out when the Transfer will happen.

- Start giving myself shots and then fly down to L.A. for the Embryo Transfer...

- Get a B.F.P!!!


So there ya go Ladies & Gents! I am beyond excited to be back on track!

Will post more when I have new and exciting info!!! I just want to say a big Thank You to all of the friends, family and strangers that have prayed for us!! It means so much!


xoxo,

Breanna

Medical and Psych Evals!!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow!!!

It felt like this day would never come! So, I am flying to L.A. tomorrow to do my Medical Evaluation and possibly my Psych Eval. {trying to get everything into one trip} I am so anxious and excited for everything to move along!!!

I just want to say that my Caseworker is absolutely Amazing and I am so glad she is here with me every step of the way! She just gave birth and is still answering all of my emails/texts and calls! I am also thankful for my husband and my dad! My dad is going to watch all three kids for us while I am gone and D works. I am so lucky to have such supportive people in my life!

So here is what I should be doing tomorrow:

My Medical Evaluation will include: 

Medical History
Pregnancy History
Blood work
Sonohysterogram - Ultrasound of the uterus.
Explain all of the meds and process
Give me a lab slip for D to do his blood work..


Psych Evaluation will include:

MMPI-2 (or PAI) Test - roughly 340 T/F questions. None of them are right or wrong because it is a personality test.
Talk about why I chose Surrogacy.
Misc Questions.
3-4 hours for everything.



After all of this is done, we will move onto the Contracts in early December!


Love & Prayers,

Breanna